Winter's Fail

I was literally speechless after watching Winter's Tale. And not the good kind.

Well, I had something to say, but it was too rude to say out loud...

"Goddamn, ang pangit nun."

Harsh, I know.

This movie was so bad, I'm not even gonna take my time with this review. Here are the things that made me dislike the movie:

The pace and overall story telling was a mess.

• 20 minutes in and the 2 main characters haven't even met yet. And when it was time to slow down and take a moment to give the relationships some depth, it speeds by. Peter Lake's (Colin Farrell) relationships with the 2 women in her life (which the movie was supposedly about) just felt superficial.

• An hour in and you still don't know where this movie was going, and what it was about! What started as a love story between a thief and a sick girl, became a fight between the forces of God and demons, AND THEN became a story about a man lost in time, AND THEN became a miracle tale. Yes, all of those things were connected, but it didn't have an organic transition, instead it felt like a jarringly disjointed movie. The story was just ALL OVER THE PLACE! 

• And speaking of miracles, the fantastic reality here had no structure. It was as if the writer was making up rules/mythology as he went along. There's a baby in a tiny boat, magical gems, angels and demons, a spirit horse, a mystical bed, premonitions through drawings, and time traveling. Oh and all these rules Will Smith has for demons. Supernatural chaos. And the clutter was frustrating!

Evil Horse VS. Good Horse

Nothing great about the visuals which were pretty much limited to light flares, a mediocre flying CGI horse, and a couple of demon faces. Dialogue was, at times, cheesy. And there was a whole speech at the start about how Beverly could see lights other people can't see. What was that even about? That was never significant to the plot at all.

Also, that Beverly Penn girl was annoyingly pa-cute.

Jack and Rose survived Titanic, and now prefer riding horseback. 

Haaayyy, poops. Should'a just watched Lego Movie. (I hate what this movie is doing to me. Hahaha!)

But hey, pretty cool seeing (an intensely evil) Russel Crowe and Will Smith in a scene together though!:) (And not to take anything away from Colin Farrell, but he hit all the emotional beats needed from him, so, there's that.)

MICMIC RATING: 3/10

PS. Read this for more Winter's Tale hate.:)) 10 Stupid Things We Learn In Winter's Tale.