For Paul

“It’s been a long day without you my friend. And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.”

Wait…

Let me…

Let me just…

…stop crying for a second, so I can write this freaking review! *tears*

After two long years, Fast and Furious 7, the movie that the franchise’s and Paul Walker’s fans have been eagerly anticipating, has finally arrived. Did it deliver? Was it a good movie? Honestly, whatever they had put there, I would have bought. Hell, if they had put Paul’s face there just staring at the camera for two and a half hours, I’d still have been teary-eyed!

Good thing it still managed to be a really decent movie. It was total vehicular insanity; which is what we’ve grown to love about the Fast and Furious franchise.

Dom (Vin Diesel) and his family, Brian (Paul Walker), Mia (Jordana Brewster), and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are finally enjoying a peaceful, suburban-ish life. But the sins of the past have come to haunt them. Former black ops operative, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) has started hunting them down one by one, for putting his brother, (Furious 6’s big bad) Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), in a coma.

Frank Petty (Kurt Russell) and his covert ops team offers to help Dom if he in turn helps to retrieve a hacker named Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) and her locating software on steroids called God’s Eye. With God’s Eye, Dom will be able to locate Shaw wherever he is in the world.

From street criminals to international men of mystery? Why not!

But, as if it weren’t enough that they’re rescuing Ramsey from a mercenary army led by Mose Jakanda (Djimon Hounsou), the deadly Deckard Shaw always shows up to ruin their plans.

Ong Bak's Tony Jaa as one of the bad guys doing what he does best - knee striking people!

If you’re there going, ‘dafuq? He’s looking for a program to look for a guy that he’s constantly seeing everywhere?’ well, you’re just asking one of the many plot related questions this movie has to offer. (Another would be, ‘why the hell did they send Letty away only for her to come back on-screen 5 minutes after?’)

This movie has an unnecessarily convoluted plot, a long and draggy first act to set everything up, some pretty shoddy logic, blatantly improbable situations, plenty of one-note acting and A LOT of gratuitous car wrecking. But…WHO THE FAT BLUE FUCK CARES?!?!!

Because once the action starts, that part of your brain, the one that’s in-charge of logic, and thinking, it completely shuts off!

The movie is practically 50% ACTION! Fist fights, shootouts, extreme parkour, Muai Thai, rock bottoms, planes, sword fights (using wrenches), and more of that fun, thrilling, and unapologetically RIDICULOUS, car mayhem! For that alone, your cinema ticket is already money very well spent!

You don’t watch F&F to find meaning of your life kind of ideas; it’s not exactly a thinker’s movie. You watch it for the fast cars, the girls, the stunts, the occasional cheesiness, the bravado. And the movie knows this, and comfortably sits in that unique place between action and campiness.

It can't get any cheesier (nor more awesome) than a flying car with explosions!

Why you REALLY watch Fast and Furious.

All the action wasn’t just butt-turning. The exotic backdrops, the sexy cars, and the scenic cinematography all made for an awe-striking and visually dramatic movie. How cool was the plane drop and building jump shots, right?

And seven movies in, you’re sure to already be in love with all the characters. Sure they’re all pretty plain and one-noted, but I still love them all! Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pearce, in particular, was HILARIOUS! I could not stop laughing out loud in the cinema! Even the new faces were easily likeable. Jason Statham was a TOTAL BADASS. He’s a perfect villain! Intimidating, intense, and British! If there was an action star who I thought could believably be a physical match for The Rock, short of Arnold in his prime, it’d be Jason Statham.

Also, Ronda, friggin’, Rousey! (I take it back; ROUSEY would be the believable physical match to The Rock!)

ROUSEY! ROUSEY! ROUSEY!

I still don’t buy that these are the same characters as the ones from the first three films. I mean, how do you go from delinquent street racers to international super spies?? If the franchise hadn’t, in a way, revamped on the fifth film, it would have been really weird. But like I said, it’s a minor gripe since you really just watch F&F for the spectacles.

If Tej was THIS good with tech, he should have been working for the CIA or something.

There’s one character that’s believable and consistent throughout though - Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner. The former police officer is the one guy in this whole franchise that could possibly fit in the spy world. But alas…this is Brian’s last ride and Paul’s last film ever…

I can’t deny that a huge part of the film’s heightened appeal comes from the events off-screen. After completing only HALF of the movie, an unfortunate accident claimed the life of Paul Walker in 2013. Suddenly and painfully, F&F lost one of its primary characters, and the world lost a young, promising, and kind actor. People’s collective heart sank. And I’m sure the other cast and crew of the franchise he’s most known for felt that pain even more.

You see how genuinely he misses his brother.

But Kudos to Director James Wan, who, after months of production delay and struggling with the loss, still managed to deliver a movie that Paul would have been proud of. Completing it without its MAIN star is a feat in itself, but to be able to finish it, without compromising its quality? That’s nothing short of incredible.

I expected Brian to be killed off, so the story will be able to explain how he’s suddenly out of the picture. But fortunately, they did something more appropriate, and earnest.

Without giving away too much, know that Paul’s character was written off seamlessly. It took some great writing and the help of Paul’s brothers, Caleb and Cody, standing in his place, but they were able to write Brian a conflict that built up from the beginning and eventually explains how and why he says goodbye. And finally, the Fast and Furious family gave Brian and Paul the most elegant and poignant sendoff…The final scene, will melt, and break your heart all at the same time.

It was a stark reminder of all that Paul Walker has accomplished in the franchise.

I died a little inside.

***

SEVEN movies in and this franchise is still going strong! I bet you can’t name any other title that’s ever gone on this long, and even reached its prime on its later movies. They’ve come a long way from where they began indeed.

Just like a car, this movie needs a little time to get going, but once it hits speed, it goes so fast and furious, you have to hang on for dear life! Even if you’re not a fan of Fast and Furious, and even of Paul Walker, you’re still gonna want to watch this on the big screen while it’s still there. Fast and Furious 7 is great, adrenaline-fuelled, entertainment and one last wild ride with Paul Walker you won’t want to miss!

MICMIC RATING: 8/10

I told myself I wouldn’t cry while writing…but here come the tears again!!!!

*First seen on The Philippine Online Chronicles!