Oktoberfest is the worldwide celebration for mankind’s greatest invention – BEER! And it starts this month and lasts all the way up to November! Parties all over the world, cheaper, if not free, beer, and just a really good reason to drink to your heart’s content!
As happy as we are about this impending event, I’m sure no one’s more excited about Oktoberfest than the guys on this list. Here’s my Top 10 Most Loveable Drunks on TV and Movies!
1 Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
I can’t imagine any list that has to do anything to do with beer that DOESN’T have Homer Simpson. The most beloved son of Springfield and a Mo’s Tavern regular, Homer Simpson, is the original cartoon drunk. This sweet, simple, man-child loves beer so much that countless memes have been made to pay homage to said passion! And his favorite brand, Duff, is probably one of the most recognizable beer brands out there, EVEN IF IT’S FICTIONAL!
“Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life’s problems.” – Homer
I’m sure a lot of us can relate to that.
2 Wolverine (X-Men)
Wolverine only ever gets excited about two things, going stabby stabby on some poor unfortunate soul, and BEER. His love for beer is seen in the 90s animated TV show, but more so in the comics and in Singer’s X-Men movies. The scene when Logan asked Iceman to freeze his beer was one of the coolest moments of the trilogy as well as the best use of Iceman’s powers ever! He’s the best there is at what he does, and with Logan’s healing ability, I would imagine that one of those things is tolerating alcohol.
This is a real comic book panel.
3 Ted (Ted)
Ted is nothing like how he looks on the outside. This adorable teddy bear is a grade-A jerk and potty mouth who spends most of his time drunk on a couch with his best friend John (Mark Wahlberg). A drinking, cursing teddy bear, really, need I say more?
4 Peter Griffin / Stewie Griffin (Family Guy)
Peter Griffin’s beer belly could give Homer Simpson’s a run for his money. Peter and Homer have a lot in common – mediocre suburban family man who hangs out at the local bar more than he does at home, but caring when it counts – yet, you can still seem to love them separately. There was an episode where the two beer-bellied gentlemen duke it out in one of the most amazing, over the top fight scenes in TV history! And it was over beer, no less!
And as an added note, Peter’s son Stewie, is occasionally shown drinking soda – the baby’s version of a glass of hard liquor. Seeing Stewie muddle his usually eloquent words and confessing his love for anyone in his vicinity is just too cute! Oh Stewie, you adorable little evil genius baby. (There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.)
5 Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones)
“I am the god of tits and wine.”
Tyrion Lannister has had the odds stacked against him all his life because of his small stature. But instead of developing an inferiority complex, he became someone who rose above it all. Tyrion’s incredibly astute mind is to him what a sword is to his brother Jamie. He’s is an arrogant, sassy, prostitute-employing, wine-drinking, dwarf. You’ll often find him passed out at the local medieval brothel when he’s not admirably running a kingdom or defending himself in trial for a crime he didn’t commit.
Long story short, Tyrion is the single most badass character this side of Westeros!
6 Frank Gallagher (Shameless)
Drink. Sleep. Repeat.
Frank Gallagher has a fierce dedication to dying from alcohol poisoning. This guy has come back from almost dying from liver failure and he STILL chugs one up the local watering hole. This unapologetic deadbeat would do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to somehow cheat the system or leech off of someone just to get his beer fix (including stealing money from his kids, trading his infant son to pay off a debt, practically steer a woman to her death to get her pension, and that’s not even half of it!)
But I think he’s more capable than he chooses to be. His half-drunk, half-angry tirades usually include well-argued political and social views, historical and literary facts, international current events and philosophy. Jeezus, get it together, Frank!
7 Charlie, Dennis, Mac, Dee and Frank (It’s Always Sunny at Philadelphia) / Alan, Phil and Stu (The Hangover)
The best part of being drunk is all the crazy sh*t you end up doing. And no one knows this better than the entire cast of It’s Always Sunny at Philadelphia and The Hangover. These guys have had more misadventures in their lifetime than EDSA has cars!
The Paddy’s Pub gang has had 11 seasons of drunken escapades! Goes to show how timelessly fun being drunk is. Their asinine schemes have led them to try to run for office, set each other on fire, accidentally turn their pub into a gay bar, wrestle for the troops, contemplate murder, join a cult…clearly, alcohol, youthful exuberance and brainstorming do not go together for this lot.
The Wolfpack on the other hand, have gone on benders and woken up in Thailand, stolen Mike Tyson’s tiger, gotten tattoos and a boob job, kidnapped a baby, had unprotected gay sex, and hijacked a police vehicle…the Wolfpack’s wild drunken adventures dwarf any that’ve come before! Something I’m sure they’d have appreciated more if they could remember what happened.
8 Don Draper (Mad Men)
Artists do things to keep their minds sharp and creative. For Don Draper, it’s drinking. Either that or being in advertising is just an excuse for him to constantly be under the influence. But as destructive as alcoholism is to his personal life, it’s never impaired his ability to do his job. Sexy, suave, and sharp, Don Draper is the man’s man, he drinks like a boss and he’s most highly functional alcoholic on this list.
9 Wong Fei-Hung (Drunken Master)
Yet another example of alcohol being put to good use. (That is, if you consider inflicting massive amounts of bodily harm, “good”.) Even if you don’t like action movies, you’ve probably still heard of the Drunken Fist – one of the most distinct and memorable martial arts in history! (And it’s the style that made Jackie Chan famous!)
Already a formidable martial artist when sober, Wong Fei-Hung (Chan) becomes even more lethal when guzzling on his booze. He bobs and weaves through enemies, seemingly with no rhyme or reason, and delivers powerful blows from out of nowhere! Wong is the best drinking buddy if you ever plan on being in a bar fight!
10 Sterling Archer (Archer)
James Bond is often seen sipping on a fancy alcoholic beverage, charming the ladies, all while saving the world from the latest international villain. Sterling Archer is James Bond unhinged. He’s a raging alcoholic, an unrelenting womanizer, an obnoxious, offensive, narcissistic, but highly effective super spy. He’s basically what James Bond would be if James Bond let go off all shame and inhibition (and maybe added some mommy issues here and there).
Archer drinks at breakfast, during briefings, while driving, while in a gunfight, heck, he even drinks while having sex! For Archer, the best time for a drink is right after the last one finished!
Who are we kidding? These guys aren’t going to find Oktoberfest particularly special! For these loveable characters, Oktoberfest probably starts on January and ends on December! But for those of us normal alcoholics, HAPPY OKTOBERFEST TO YOU GUYS!
*First seen on The Philippine Online Chronicles!
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