Oh. Dear. God.
If I had a penny for all the things I hated about the movie...I'd be 5 pennies richer.
SPOILERS FOLLOW.
My biggest gripe with the movie was that there were LOOOOONG chunks of it allotted to setting up the villains. It distracted the narrative from its main character and just got utterly BORING. The only time the screen lit up was when Spider-Man was actually onscreen, but with everything that was going on, that only happened sparingly.
Exactly.
And with all the time given to the Max and Harry, their transition to super villainhood still felt unnatural, especially for Harry. The story rushed through their character arcs for the sole purpose of having two final boss battles. In the end, Green Goblin just felt like an 11th hour addition to the movie.
Who wore it better? Willem Dafoe or Dane DeHaan?
Cringe-worthy Campiness
I thought we were passed the mustache twirling villains of old? I mean, that Dr. Kafka guy? What century did that guy come from? He stuck out like a sore thumb. And the final battle where the power plant turned to something that resembles a radio's equalizer? Dear god. And a have a special kind of hate for villains who give themselves nicknames. (e.g. "I'm Electro." and " I'm the Rhinooooo!!!!")
"I'm the Rhinoooooo!!!" No one was asking, D-bag.
Irrational rationale
It donned on me that most of all of this could have been avoided if Peter had just decided to give Harry some blood! "But it could kill Harry" my ass. Oscorp is the frigging LEADER in genetics research, SURELY Peter didn't think that they wouldn't do some research first??
Just give him your fucking blood! You have so much!
And there was this other big thing. I'm sure all of us were expecting a COMPELLING reason why Richard and Mary Parker would leave Peter behind. Turns out, it was just because his research was going to be used for chemical warfare. The reveal was not at all satisfying considering the amount of build up they gave the mystery.
Sure the research was going to be used for bad things, but it also had the potential for medical advancements. Why throw THAT away? And Richard already put a fail safe in place. Without him, the research couldn't be used. Why then was the need to run away? Then there's the video upload. Why, in god's green earth, would you send a video TO CLEAR YOUR NAME to a SECRET FRIGGING HIDEOUT THAT NO ONE KNEW ABOUT??!?! (Secret cable car lab. More campiness.)
Sure the research was going to be used for bad things, but it also had the potential for medical advancements. Why throw THAT away? And Richard already put a fail safe in place. Without him, the research couldn't be used. Why then was the need to run away? Then there's the video upload. Why, in god's green earth, would you send a video TO CLEAR YOUR NAME to a SECRET FRIGGING HIDEOUT THAT NO ONE KNEW ABOUT??!?! (Secret cable car lab. More campiness.)
Hayy. The stupidity of it all.
Love factor
Gwen and Peter Forever!!!
The Gwen/Peter romance was one of the first movie's highlights. And Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield's chemistry is so perfect. But now that they're already together, I think the writers were forcing conflicts into their relationship to keep it interesting. C'mon, during the graduation day they were okay in the morning, then Peter suddenly decides to break up at night? Then throughout the movie, they'd kiss and fight then kiss then fight. Make up your minds already!
But I guess that won't be a problem anymore in the third movie... (Too soon?)
In memoriam.
Speaking of which, (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS) Gwen's death scene would have been a better end to the 2nd act, instead of the end of the movie. We could have seen more of the emotional backlash on Peter, and it would've set Green Goblin up to be the rival he was destined to be. Instead, the movie rushed through THAT too. Are we supposed to just forget about Gwen now? Gwen's death is one of the most significant events of Peter's life, the audience deserves some time to grieve too. (Especially after that powerful, heart-wrenching, D-scene.)
Don't you let go woman! DON'T YOU LET GO!
In conclusion...
I didn't hate the WHOLE movie. Like I said, any time Spider-Man is on screen, I was happy. His web slinging, the bullet-time sequences, the Spider-Man montage, I loved it all! This is probably the most faithful Spider-Man I've seen too. His quips and light-hearted energy were down to a T. And I love that this is a Spider-Man of the people. He's New York's hero - something that's so essentially Spider-Man, I think.
Andrew Garfield IS Spider-Man!
Still New York's Finest!
But my brother put it best, the movie felt like a rough draft. It could have been streamlined some more. I'm even glad Mary Jane didn't appear anymore (an MJ was cast during the filming of the movie), it would have just made the story all the more convoluted.
How Amazing Spider-Man 2 should have ended
MICMIC RATING: 6/10 ...:(
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