Expendable Franchise

Google defines "expendable" as: designed to be used only once and then abandoned or destroyed...

That is EXACTLY what this franchise is. 

Testosterone overkill!

A copy of Expendables 3 got leaked over the weekend. For a while I was still debating with myself whether to watch it on TV or wait for the cinema release. Glad I made the first choice. Coz god...

It. Was. Awful.

I could list a dozen things wrong about the movie...You know what, I WILL.

1) Silvester Stallone's face is made of soggy, grandma breasts.

2) Draggy story. (REALLY draggy story.)

3) Draggy action.

4) Silvester Stallone's face looking like it's been dragged on the floor for a few hours.

5) Cheesy lines. (even by Expendables standards)

6) The most fake CG in recorded history.

7) Enemy soldiers who NEVER shoot. (Otherwise known as canon fodder.)

8) Worn out gags (like past movie references)

9) Jet Li being reduced to a cameo.

10) Overall silliness.

11) INSANELY predictable.

12) Tries so, so, so, hard.

Stop smiling! You guys sucked!

I know this review isn't as articulate as the rest of my reviews (see Her review), but there really is nothing else to it. It was a bad movie. A movie way too concerned about showcasing the toughest actors in Hollywood. It felt like the actors they got determined the story, instead of the other way around.

Too...many...characters.

Gotta watch Guardian of the Galaxy to wash this Expendables 3 stink off.

MICMIC RATING: 2.5/10 (The 2.5 mostly courtesy of the sheer badassery of Ronda Rousey)

(Also, Ford and Banderas were okay.)